Theories on life, the universe, and everything

(Re-posted from my personal blog)

I'm actually not at all a fan of the Hitchhiker's Guide "trilogy."  But it is a good phrase.

I just saw this blog post passing along a brief lesson in life from Kurt Vonnegut.

I used to--and, to some extent, still do--seek the sort of life that would make a good movie.  Walking home from high school on a rainy night, after staying late to work on newspaper layout, I'd think how good my surroundings would be for some melodramatic montage, and I'd imagine the minor-key piano music and whining vocals that would accompany such a scene.

We all do this.  (By "we all," I mean "most of us, I think.")  We expect life to reflect entertainment.  After all, entertainment reflects life, right?  But entertainment reflects only the dramatic (and, at its best, the profound) in life.  It's a skewed look that uses semi-realistic people, relationships, events and themes to create unrealistic patterns and meanings.  We see this, and we expect our life to weave itself into natural plot lines; we expect people to exhibit the consistency and predictability of a well-developed character.

But people are not consistent, and life has meaning and story only through interpretation.  Out of this cognitive dissonance, we create the drama we expect to see.

Vonnegut:  "[B]ecause we grew up surrounded by big dramatic story arcs in books and movies, we think our lives are supposed to be filled with huge ups and downs.  So people pretend there is drama where there is none."

The blog author continues: "That's why people invent fights.  That's why we're drawn to sports.  That's why we act like everything that happens to us is such a big deal.  We're trying to make our life into a fairy tale."

as we forgive our debtors

Our Father, who art in heaven,

Hallowed be thy Name.

Thy kingdom come.

Thy will be done,

On earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our debts,

As we forgive our debtors.

And lead us not into temptation,

But deliver us from evil.

For thine is the kingdom,

and the power, and the glory,

forever.

Every once in a while, for lack of some other prayer or meditation, I recite the Lord's Prayer slowly and repetitively, contemplating each line and its implications. As I get into it, I realize it's complicated enough that I probably shouldn't be working on anything else until I've lived up to those sixty-four words.

The "debts and debtors" section has always intrigued me. As a Brethren, that's how I learned the prayer, and it's how it rolls off the tongue. But now and then I stop to wonder: why debts and debtors? Sure, "forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us" sounds weird and archaic (though what is "who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name" supposed to be?), but "forgive us our sins" makes some sense. Why choose something that seems to imply a monetary situation, when we simple living Brethren are supposed to be more concerned with the spiritual context?

But as a conflict unfolded recently between myself and another Brethren with whom I'd entered into a contractual arrangement, the full weight of those words became clear to me. Leave it to God to reveal best at those times we'd most like to be kept in the dark.

Forgiving a trespass--or a sin--is simple. No matter how hurtful the incident, it is almost immediately in the past. And though I'm quick to anger, I'm equally quick to calm. I know there is no undoing what has been done, and to indulge in negative feelings, while darkly satisfying, is ultimately self-defeating.

A debt, however, is much more difficult to forgive. A debt is not a one-time trespass; it is a trespass that, on its own, will continue as long as the debt exists. Feeling I was owed a debt, I was torn between conflicting desires for conciliation and restitution. After all, even if could afford to let it go, wouldn't forgiving the debt mean I was allowing myself to be a doormat? How can we give up our cloaks to those who sue for our coats without inviting our neighbors to take advantage of us? (To further complicate matters, the other party believed with equal conviction that it was I who owed him a debt.)

I struggle similarly with wrongs for which I never receive an apology. I guess that's another form of debt; I usually find it easy to grant forgiveness when someone apologizes to me, but the thought of doing so when the other party has acknowledged no wrong makes me sick to my stomach. I obsess over whether they even know they've wronged me. I wonder what will keep them from repeating the same behavior.

"Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors." The uncomfortable thing about the Message, and part of the reason we need preachers, is that it's most important when it's not easy. Jesus says, "If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them" (Luke 6:32). I can easily hear him saying, "If you forgive those who apologize, what credit is that to you?" The way of Jesus means looking past our pride, even when it means surrendering justice for the sake of grace. It means letting go of the need to make sure someone else "learns a lesson." It means forgiving our debtors, not just those who trespass against us once.

Ultimately, I gave up on my claim of debt. I can't really claim it was out of a conviction to forgive--it was mostly guilt and exhaustion--but maybe these thoughts played a small part. It will, at least, help me in my continuing struggle to truly forgive.

Maybe someone from Sallie Mae will read this and agree. But if not, I hope I have at least provided some food for thought.

-Nick Miller Kauffman
(My dad thought Stephen's post was written by me, so I suggest we use big obvious signatures like this.)

I SERRV-ed My Time, Now Here's My Reflection

As Fair Trade Month [October] approaches, I thought I’d take the time to reflect on my summer experience. I am a student at Manchester College and participated in a summer service project called Pathways. I was placed at SERRV in Madison, Wisconsin as a marketing intern. I was going to be living on my own in a big city where I knew no one. Little did I know how much I would actually appreciate this experience later.

Just a little history behind SERRV, for those of you who are not aware. SERRV was started in 1949 by members of the Church of the Brethren as a way to help refugees in Europe after the war. People bought products in Europe then brought them back to America and sold them in a little gift shop in New Windsor, Maryland. The store grew in popularity, and SERRV was started! SERRV remained under the church until about 10 years ago, when it split off into its own entity. Okay, so there’s more to the story, but that’s a long story cut real, real short. SERRV is a fair trade non-profit, and for those of you who are not aware of what fair trade is, it’s a way to support artisans and farmers around the world by creating a fair wage. That’s also a very short definition.

Growing up, I was aware of SERRV. My grandmother would have me look at the catalog and tell her if there was anything I would like to have from it. I always thought the products were so beautiful, even though I didn’t know the full story behind where the products were made. It wasn’t until later that I realized that SERRV was religiously founded and I fully understood the concept of fair trade. There’s just something so rewarding when buying a fair trade product; each piece of jewelry, every basket, all musical instruments are different. They are like snowflakes, none are identical and that’s something you won’t find in the mass produced crafts. Not only are the products beautiful and unique, it also helps people that you have never met. Part of the enjoyment that I find in buying SERRV products is the knowledge that I am helping someone with my need for a new wallet or craving for some chocolate. The service aspect of fair trade is important to me.

I grew up in the Church of the Brethren. I was always taught to consider others around you, including folks you didn’t know. I think that ideal has an important play in why members of the denomination decided to start the International Gift Shop back in 1949. Service has always played a part in various projects supported by members of the Church of the Brethren. Dan West founded Heifer International to help feed the poor, volunteers spend their time cleaning up and building homes through Brethren Disaster Ministries, and many service projects throughout WWII and through today’s youth and young adults at conferences.

After interning at SERRV for a summer, I find myself immensely proud in the work these people do, and I am a proud member of the denomination that founded SERRV. I like to live the line “show Christ’s love through your actions,” and that is what these people are doing and what a consumer does when they purchase a fair trade product. So the next time you buy a Divine chocolate bar, even when you don’t really need one, smile and take pride in the fact that you just helped someone attend school, buy clothes or simply, live.

As a young adult in the church today and also in the world, I try my best to get the word of fair trade out there. I’m currently studying in Northern Ireland for the semester through BCA. I see fair trade everywhere! I was told this summer by my boss that Europe has caught the fair trade bug, and I just wonder why America hasn’t. The products are so beautiful, amazing, tasty and unique. So go ahead, buy that Divine chocolate bar; the people of Ghana greatly appreciate it.

SERRV has a facebook page. Become a fan today!

Hi, my name is Julia Largent. I'm a junior at Manchester College double majoring in Peace Studies and Communication Studies. I'm a member of the Church of the Brethren. =]

Confessions of a seminarian

You might think, being at Bethany Theological Seminary, that I would feel more inspired to think about, and then write about, things relevant to this blog. I can't say that's proven to be false; I probably have at least four ideas a day that interest me enough to write about them. The problem is my ADHD (and generally spaceyness) are so bad that I forget them within minutes. Yet tonight, though none of my past ideas have come jumping back into my head, I feel strangely motivated to write. Possibly because the alternative is actually doing an assigned reading.

In the absence of having anything leaping to the front of my mind for reflection or commentary, I will reflect on my experience as a student at Bethany.

Most of you who know about this blog probably also know about Bethany, but, just in case, it's the Church of the Brethren seminary located in Richmond, Indiana, on the campus of Earlham College (a Quaker school).

I came to seminary almost expecting to hate it. One might question the wisdom of taking a path that is expected to be unpleasant, but I really didn't feel like getting a job, and no other schools seemed to stand out. Besides, the people at Bethany put up with my waiting until July to tell them I'd be starting school here in August.

One might also wonder why someone who was interested enough in Brethrenism and spirituality to start a blog on it expected to hate seminary. I'll say firmly that I have no intention of being a pastor, and I half-expected a seminary, at which most of the students are pursuing their Master of Divinity, to be too ministerial, and frankly too Christian for me.

But I love it here. After just a month, passing judgment may seem premature, but I know when I love a place. The classes I'm in for my M.A. are taught from a sufficiently academic lens that I don't feel like a... whatever I am... in a pastor's academy, but like a student at a school. And while I am surrounded predominantly by MDiv students, I have experienced that environment as enriching rather than limiting. There is an underlying sense of spirituality and religious belonging, as evidenced by our twice-weekly worship services and opening classes with a moment of silence, but I find that to be fulfilling in a way that I can't imagine more secular graduate school would be.

Far be it from me to be a recruiter. I'm too averse to thinking I know what will be good for someone else. But I would certainly recommend young Brethren folks interested in ministry, theology, or even peace studies (like me) at least give Bethany a second glance. You could, like me, startledly find yourself an amazing home where you are supported, challenged, taught, and embraced.

Also, Elizabeth Keller just preached one of the best messages I've ever heard, and if you want to hang out with her, this is the place to be.

Feetwashing and Protest

I thought I posted this days ago, but it turns out I posted it to the wrong blog.

This past summer, while working for a nonprofit called Pace e Bene, I had the opportunity to converse with Father Louie Vitale, a Catholic priest and social activist who started the organization twenty years ago. He was talking about a vigil he'd attended at a military base in the southwest many years earlier, and the religious elements that were made elements of the action.

The protesters divided into two groups, one of which crossed onto the military base to be arrested and one which stayed behind to be a continuing witness. From just outside the line that marked the beginning of government property, a group of Episcopalians gave communion to their friends who had chosen to cross over. But what Father Louie said was the thing that most struck him was a group of Brethren, who set a bench across the line and knealt to wash the feet of those who were about to be arrested. That image has been a powerful memory to him even to this day, twenty or thirty years later.

It wasn't until after he told that story that he remembered I was Brethren. How glad I am to see our quiet witness making such lasting impressions.

Some logistical stuff

I should have thought of this a long time ago. FWFS now has a Facebook Page where you can be a fan and see updates from the site, as well as a Twitter that will (if I rigged it right) keep you up to date on new posts.

The "latest comments" widget on the right seems not to be updating; I have no idea why, but I'll smack it a couple times and see if that fixes it.

Finally, I'm begging you young people (say, 17-35ish) to join in writing this blog with me. Please contact me--nmkauffman (at) gmail (dot) com--if you want to pitch in. I'm warning you, if you don't, I'm going to build an army of seminary bloggers!

Are we distracted?

I wasn't at Annual Conference this year, but I understand there was a lot of talk going on about human sexuality, and that many people raised concerns that we're spending too much time on the issue. After thirty years of debate on this, could it be time to just put it to rest? Shouldn't we be turning to more important things?

I've heard this argument before from many people, including some of my favorite Brethren. And while I've never made the argument myself, I do find it enticing at times. Shouldn't we be dedicating our resources to feeding the world's hungry instead of fighting incessantly over such a controversial issue?

No.

I can't help but think of the Civil Rights Movement. It was controversial, to be sure, and it stirred up a lot of stuff that people didn't particularly want to be stirred up. They told Martin Luther King, Jr., "Just be patient," and he replied, "Change does not roll in on the wheels of inevitability." Fifty years later, with the gift of hindsight, few of us would support the idea that there were more important things for all those people to be doing--that the Southern Christian Leadership Conference should have been directing its energy to other, more widely supported issues. They were humans, being treated as less than humans, and they could not be expected to accept that and join their oppressors in other work.

When we find ourselves confronting injustice, there is nothing more important than working against it. Right now, thousands of beautiful men and women in the Church of the Brethren are being told that there is something wrong with them; that their lifestyle is sinful; even that they cannot minister to their brothers and sisters. We cannot ask them to silently bow their heads and pretend it doesn't hurt--and if we continue to ask it, we will find our numbers ever thinning as these individuals find it too painful to remain in the Church they love.

To ignore this oppression and go about our business in the world is a disservice to them, and it is damaging to our own spirits: we cannot heal the world while we ourselves are so wounded. We must remove the plank from our eye before we can see the speck of sawdust in our brother's.

It is the nature of those who are oppressed to fight the oppression, and the duty of their allies to join them. This is not a waste of time.